How to Answer the Dreaded Guest List Question

"Am I invited?"

In one way or another, party hosts get asked this question at least once during the party planning process. It doesn't matter if you're the bride, the mother of the bride, the mother of the bat mitzvah girl, or if it's your birthday. The question may not be posed so abruptly, but it will be posed.

Many people dread hearing this question because, understandably so, you can't invite everyone. And you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. 

I get it. It's perfectly understandable.
Unless you're the person who's not getting invited.

How to Answer the "Am I Invited?" Question | LIG Events - Washington, DC Wedding and Event Planners

So what do you do when you're hosting a party and someone asks you this uncomfortable question? 


I firmly believe honesty is the best policy. Being honest from the beginning will always avoid problems later on. You don't have to remember any white lies you've told, and you avoid a bigger problem if the person you lied to finds out you lied.

So be honest. And when someone asks you if they're invited, respond with one of these answers:

"Yes! Of course!"

If you haven't drawn up a guest list or made an oversight and really meant to invite the person that's asking, by all means, let them know they're invited. And be enthusiastic about it! The guest in question will love to hear your excitement and in turn get excited for your event.

If you know you're not going to invite this person to your event, try this line:

"We're trying to keep the guest list small and unfortunately we can't invite everyone." 

Usually people who want to be invited to a celebration understand if you want to keep it small and intimate.

If you're throwing a dinner party and your table only has room for 12 guests, obviously you can only invite 11 people. 

If you are hosting a wedding, blame the limited guest count on the budget, the venue capacity, or your personal desires (i.e. "we really wanted to keep the wedding as intimate as possible").

I can guarantee that even if people's feathers a ruffled a bit at first, they will come around and understand. After all, they've probably been in the same boat themselves. 

Have you ever been put in this situation? What did you say? Let me know in the comments!